the stole

My journey into ordained minstry has been long -- very long; and difficult -- very difficult; and full of sacrifices -- mostly made by my family. It has also been an absolute blessing. I've learned to accept the help and support and love of friends. My congregation loved me and let me grow even when I knew nothing and could do nothing but try. Most important, I've come to know God's incredible grace as I've tried, stumbled, and tried again.

Even as I am about to be ordained in a few days, I've had questions nagging at me for the last few weeks. Although I thought I was sure I was called to be a deacon (focusing on children and youth and education), a lingering nagging pulled at me. Maybe ministry to an entire church community as an elder is really my path. Colleagues added to the questioning: "You have so many gifts, why a deacon?" Could I have spent 10 years on this journey and still not know?

Yesterday, I opened a box that came in the mail. It was a gift from my aunt for my ordination. I opened it, even though my ceremony isn't until Friday. Her gift was a beautiful stole of many colors. Into it is woven the faces of children of all ages, of all colors, shapes and sizes. It is a beautiful stole. And, it is a deacon's stole -- one that goes across the heart.

Suddenly everything righted itself and it was clear to me that I am called to be an ordained deacon. And, yes colleagues, thank you very much, I do have a lot of gifts for ministry. However, I truly believe that children, youth and the spiritual nurturing of them and of their families is where we, as a church, should put our absolute best and brightest and most committed clergy and most significant resources. If I can be one of them, I will be forever grateful to God and to everyone that helped me on this journey.

I am thrilled that Morrow continues to prioritize children's and youth ministries. This is a congregation that has long committed dedicated staff and resources on top of countless unpaid work by church and community members to nurture and love the kids of Maplewood and South Orange. I am inspired by this commitment and rededicate myself to do all that is in me to care and love and pastor and teach to the best of my ability. Thank you to you all. And thanks Jan for the stole. I will wear it across my heart and pledge to always remember my story.